Reaching for the extraordinary
We have stepped into a culture where we are so scared of scarring our kids. Like their fragile little minds would never be able to cope with any form of failure (lets be honest, not receiving a trophy for taking part in the Grade 4 three-legged foot race is something you are still discussing with your therapist weekly!?!)
My son is an achiever in all things academic, he finishes in the top ten percent of his grade in most subject and receives awards for this, but standing on the stage with him is the kid who won an award for most hygienic (or some such) kid in the class... What The Frack!
I know that some children are not able to achieve the grades my son does but why should the fact that he studied his behind off to reach those grades be diminished by giving out awards for washing your hands after every meal and not using your sleeve when you sneeze?
It sounds harsh but I truly don't expect the school to hand my child an award for tying his own shoelace when their dolling out sport achievement awards... the reason I don't expect it is simple, I know my kid cant't do sport! He truly sucks at it (and he knows he's not good at it, this doesn't stop him from participating and enjoying it), unless the sport is chess.
The whole point of the award system is to praise children for their dedication and hard work and setting an example for other students to follow. By handing out participation awards they (you) are teaching your child that hard work doesn't matter you will still be rewarded. This is not the example I want to set form my son and I hope this is not the example you would like to set for your kids.
We allow him to loose, we talk to him when he doesn't do as well as he can in a test, he knows what he is capable of and he knows he should aim for more than he thinks he is capable of. When we play a board game every person sitting at that table is trying to win and he knows this. He also knows that when he does win, he truly WON. We didn't lower our personal expectations, we didn't cheat so that he could end ahead, he knows this round he was truly the best.
Now isn't that worth celebrating?
What he also takes away from this is how to loose, how to fail and try again, how to keep at something until you mastered it! Did you clap your hands every time your kid fell down when he was learning to walk? Did you say its OK you tried and then told them to keep on crawling?Or did you help them back up and cheered your hart out when they gave ten steps in a row?
We are allowing an entire generation of kids to aim for nothing more than being average... I'd much rather have my child reach for extraordinary... well that's Just My Point of View.
